High School Poster Proposal

Spring Break Travelogue

Grocery stores work a little differently in Pennsylvania.

We stopped by the local supermarket today to pick up some meats, and were greeted by a large sign informing us that NO ONE UNDERSELLS OUR EASTER HAMS. It was written just like that— bold, underlined and caps locked, the holy trinity of emphasis. This was not an invitation to bring cheaper hams to their attention. This was a statement of fact. If you had seen a cheaper ham elsewhere, you kept your filthy mouth shut, you hear. There was also, during this time, a cawing emnating from some distant recess of the dairy section. As we drew closer, the source of the sound was located— it was a raven, cackling out a warning to all ye who dared question ham prices from atop its makeshift Yoplait perch. Surely, this must have been the last patron to present a competing ham! Its dark declaration continued until a team of cloaked store employees scared it away with brooms, which they then rode silently back through the Employees Only door from which they came.

Suffice it to say that we bought our ham and got out of there as fast as we possibly could, disregarding the fact that we had originally entered to purchase sausages.

Completely True Story. Honest to God.

So I’m walking to Gym with my friend Blake. Blake’s wearing this t-shirt with the Green Lantern logo on it, right? Yes, that’s important. Sit down and hush yourself.

So we’re walking through the cafeteria, and Blake’s stopped by a custodian, who’s noticed his shirt. I’m going to try and recreate this conversation as best I can, here.

“Whatchoo know about Green Lantern?”
“Wha?”
“Whatchoo, know, about Green Lantern?”
“Well, uh, you know, he’s got the ring, he’s in the Justice League…”
“Yeah? What’s he say when he powers up?”
“Pardon?”
“When he powers up. When he does the ring.”
“Man, I don’t know that much, I just…I just like the shirt, dude.”
“Yeah…you don’t know shit ‘bout Green Lantern.”

This episode, on its own? Easily one of my top five school moments. A large part of it is because Blake is in no way a nerd, or, if he is, he’s very good at hiding it beneath layers of…snowboarding ‘n stuff, man. Yeah, he snowboards. Anyway. In any other situation where he wasn’t wearing that shirt, I would have been the one singled out as the comic book geek, no questions asked.

Now. Apparently, throughout this whole conversation, we’ve been blocking the path of the theater teacher, who makes this quite clear to us. We say something vaguely resembling an apology and continue on our way. Blake’s pretty shaken by being bested at Green Lantern trivia by a janitor. I’m going to try to recreate this as well.

“…I mean, I don’t know that much about Green Lantern, y’know? I know there’s like a couple different ones, right, there’s, uh, there’s a black one and a white one…”

At this point we’re in the stairwell, Theater Teacher walking in front of us, when she stops dead and swivels around, staring in disbelief at Blake.

“Did you really just say that? Seriously? Really?”
“I, I wasn’t trying to be racist—”
“It’s not about the race thing!”
“Oh, see, well, that janitor—”
“It’s about the dehumanization!”
“…what?”
“People aren’t “ones”! People have souls! They aren’t “ones”!”

Blake turned to me, desperate. The look in his eyes spoke volumes: “It’s a cartoon, lady.” He needed me to chime in, to say anything, to throw him a proverbial rope.

“Tell her what he says when he powers up.”

Brainstorming For A Science Project

My Grandfather's Computer: A Dramatization

Some Stuff.

• Report cards went home today— straight B’s. I am sleepwalking my way through high school.
• I am rewatching Iron Man. I still love this movie, but I’ve realized that what I really love more than anything else is the dialogue.
• The new Of Montreal album is okay, but not nearly the awesome that Hissing Fauna was. eMusic or allMusic or poopMusic described the lyrics as (I’m paraphrasing here) “sexy to the point of blushworthy”, but I’m going to go a step further and say that they’re just sex for the point of being sex. Kevin Barnes is obviously having fun with this whole glam-rock alter ego thing, but the rest of us are ready for another Satanic Panic.

Pretty theme, ugly conversation

NOTE: I don’t use this theme anymore. This is the themes I used before this. This theme is awesome and is made by pixelspread, who makes other awesome themes..

I came upon this theme months ago, but only implemented it last night. Having a question about removing Disqus comments, I shot off an e-mail to the theme’s creator, and the following exchange ensued.

“Hi there,

I’m currently using the “It’s Not Like That” Tumblr theme, and it’s great; however, I’m wondering how to get rid of Disqus comments. Thanks.

Max
http://mocktopus.tumblr.com”

His response:

“just remove the disqus javascript code…

Thanks a bunch..
Scott H”

Well, thanks. A load of help, right there. I tried to stay cordial, I really did.

“Thanks! Hate to bother you further, but I have one more question— how can I change the favicon back to Tumblr’s default (whatever avatar you are currently using)?”

Things went downhill from there.

“Hey man I can help you with all that but I do ask for a 5$ donation for support..you can paypal it to me if you are interested…[email address]

Thanks
Scott

Sent from my iPhone”

Boy, that little footer is a right kick in the teeth, isn’t it? Alright, so this guy is kind of being a dick, but he still made this rad free theme, right? Well, at sometime during the night, right after I proposed my first question, he made the theme pay-only. I had to crosscheck my modified code with the original, only to discover that. Christ.

“I managed to fix it by myself. Thank you for all your generous help and understanding. I realized that shortly after I sent my help request, you made your theme pay-only. I’m sorry I downloaded it yesterday, and I’m sure you are too!

Thanks, Max

Sent from my four-year-old computer”

So, problem solved.